We Do Complicated

wanderlustandcoffeelover

Based on a true story.

Senior year. I was the new girl and you were the music kid. You were kind enough to show me around school and become the first ever familiar face in a completely new environment. We didn’t have any of the same classes except for music – something you were extremely passionate about, which I noticed almost immediately. Whenever I came to class and the teachers were yet to show up, you’d be on the keyboard playing whatever while everyone else danced and just had fun. Because that’s what you do. You do you and that’s fun. You made it really easy to be your friend, which wasn’t what you wanted (apparently). But you let the year go on anyway without a hint.

Fast forward to our last couple of days of high school: you asked to hang out for the last time before you had to leave the country, and we did. We had dinner and watched a movie… kind of like a date but kind of not. I still saw you as a friend. The night was coming to an end and that’s when you told me everything. How you felt about me and how you wished you could’ve told me sooner. I was silent and things got a little awkward. You kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye.

Fast forward to you being on the other side of the world: you stopped messaging me constantly. We’d leave each other messages here and there but we just weren’t as close as we used to be. The thing was is I miss you. In a weird way. In a more-than-a-friend sort of way. In a I-think-I-like-you kind of way. And I don’t think you care about me anymore. At least that’s what you’re telling me, ironically, through your lack of words.

I’m more confused than ever. Do I like you for you, or for the you who had a thing for me? Do you still think about me? Should I reach out to you or would that just stop you from living your new life in a new place full of new faces? It’s crazy how much things can change. How could we go from talking every single day to not talking at all? Things probably don’t have to be this complicated but they are. Because that’s what we do. We do complicated and that fucking sucks.

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
Confucius
[In response to the Daily Prompts: confused and complicated]

[Featured image taken from Pinterest]

14 thoughts on “We Do Complicated”

  5. I feel this so hard. I always am friends with people and then I get accused of flirting with them because apparently that’s what being friendly equates to when it’s between people of the opposite sex. Or maybe someone tells me that someone else likes me and then all the sudden I can’t stop thinking about it. I replay everything that we’ve talked about or every interaction we’ve had. Eventually I convince myself that I actually like this person and it’s the worst.
    Either way, if you’re friends I think you can talk to them about it. I wish you the best of luck!!

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  6. I can empathize with you on this. I had a girlfriend one time that seemed like a perfect compliment for me. The thing for me was, I knew I had a good thing going on; I was just scared I would loose her. So, I thought it would be better just to end it abruptly on my own rather than waiting for her to break my heart. She left the door open for me too, which made the original decision a bit harder to live with; yet, I think I was fine with the decision for about 2 years; then, I kind of wish I did things the opposite way when I realized she was more rare than I originally thought.

    Anyway, I’m hoping that learning the hard way makes the future taste sweeter when I’m dealt my next blessing.

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  8. Hi Wanderlust,
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  9. I understand how complicated some relationships can get, I admire your honesty and courage to accept your feelings for this person. And I hope that he acknowledges it too. Stay the way you are 🙂

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