Satisfaction feels good.
It feels so good that we start craving the feeling, so we wait and we wait
to feel the feeling again.
While we’re waiting, time continues to tick,
the earth still revolves… “Where is this feeling I felt once before?”
Our souls become lost and our hearts, broken – still, we wait and we wait
to be satiated once more.
Before you know it, ten years go by. “It’s far too late now to swallow my pride”, so we wait and
we wait and
until there is nothing left to wait for.
“Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!”
The Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland
It sucks that you’re on the other side of the world. It also sucks that the massive time difference means that you’re asleep when I’m wide awake. And to top it all off, it sucks that we can’t both be in the single ladies club anymore (ugh I hate you). I hate you so much that I decided to write an entire post about you. Just kidding about the hate part. I’m honestly the luckiest to be able to call you my friend – despite our more than rocky start…
In the five years I’ve known you, I’ve liked you for four. I didn’t open myself up to you that first day you came to school and I regret that. Because that just means that I’ve had one year of potential memories with you taken away. But this post isn’t about could haves and should haves. It’s about what we have now. I don’t remember how we even became friends – do you? I’m just so grateful that we somehow got to talking all of those years ago, at some point during year 10. And can we just take a second to appreciate the fact that you were still friendly as f and actually talked to me despite the year before? Best friend award. Seriously.
You may not realise the impact you’ve had on my life, so let me just tell you that you’ve had a massive impact on my life! I’ve never had that one person that I can talk to if I’m going through anything, whether I’m having a good day or a bad day. Everything is so easy and uncomplicated with you. We may not talk every single day – and when I’m being my procrastinating self, weeks. Just know that my horribly bad habits and embarrassingly late responses to your texts don’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. If anything exciting or shitty happens, you’re the first to know. You’re probably the only person I really care about enough to tell. Though I’ve made many friends across my life, I haven’t managed to keep in touch with most (especially with you know who). But with you, it isn’t forced; like I said before, it’s easy.
I love that we can have those deep conversations when needed, but then switch a flip and have the best time like nothing happened. There’s always something to laugh about when we’re together. I may be biased, but our laugh attacks are the best. Oh, and I am so happy (and relieved) that you now know about this blog. I kept this part of my life a secret because I was scared what people would think – I should have known better that you wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Now, we can laugh about the stories I write – whether they’re completely fictional or .. somewhat real .. (his name begins with the letter J, DON’T YOU DARE SAY IT).
I don’t know where all of this is coming from or why I felt the need to write this post, but I guess there’s no going back. I mean I could delete it.. I was just being dramatic. Okay now your turn, go! Lol jokes. Anyways, I have to go pick up the little brother from school now so I’ll end this-whatever this is-here. I luh you papi. You’re much appreciated. You’re my best fren – because you don’t walk in front of me, or behind me, but beside me. Thank the Lord for 2009 facebook statuses. Never forget.
P.S. wakey wakey and follow my blog yeah?
“You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.”
Mike from Monsters, Inc
Social anxiety is a buzzkill. It’s a buzzkill that attacks at any moment of the day for whatever reason possible. Method of attack? The little voices in my head. I could be walking down the street with a coffee in my hand paired with the biggest smile on my face and they would still manage to come up with the longest list of things for me to be worried about – a list I wouldn’t have possibly thought of on my own, so thanks for that. I would hear things like…
“They’re looking at you; they’re laughing at you.”
“They don’t really want to be around you – they’re just trying to be nice.”
“You don’t matter.”
Usually I wouldn’t ever question those voices. I would just accept the fact that maybe something really waswrong with me. But from time to time, thankfully, the good voices would make an appearance in my head and they’d tell me…
Maybe they aren’t laughing at you.
Maybe they really do want to get to know you.
And you definitely matter.
Just a thought.”
“Monsters don’t sleep under your bed. They live in your head.”
Without a care in the world, she breathed adventure
and longed for new experiences.
She wasn’t afraid; she had no reason to be.
We weren’t afraid either – we had her.
She did e v e r y t h i n g
But the worst things always happen to the best people.
That’s how it’s supposed to be, right?
That’s how it always is.
And it happened to her without a moment’s notice: The worst thing. Out of the blue.
Even though she did e v e r y t h i n g
She could have become afraid.
She could have given up.
She could have stopped laughing,
like I would have done instantly if I was put in her place.
But that’s the thing.. She isn’t me.
Only for a second was she afraid and without
further thought or hesitation, she went
right back to laughing,
She wanted to be strong for us and us, for her
though we didn’t know how.
She stood strong for all of us;
She still stands strong for all of us and we love her for doing so.
Who is she, you may ask?
She is the woman I admire…
My beautifully strong and brave mother.
“A good mother is irreplaceable.”